American Sculptor, Louise Nevelson (who is the subject of an upcoming book of mine*) once said, “If you have creative work, there is no age or time.”
Although I have these words hanging on my quotation wall in my writer’s studio to remind me of this, I’ve had three recent experiences when I wished that I had them embroidered on a hanky or tattooed on my chest so I'd NEVER forget.
(1) MOVIE MORTIFICATION? When buying my ticket for a movie the other night, the teenage cashier looked at my light hair and glasses, looked down at her register, and then blurted, “You know, if you are 62 years old or older, you can get our senior discount.”
Sixty-two years old...or older? The senior discount? At the mention of these words, my heart began beating rapidly, and I experienced a burning feeling from top of my head to the tips of my toes. I didn’t know whether to laugh out loud or cry...and felt a messy mix of embarrassment, humilation, and mortication.
When I realized the cashier wasn't joking, that no one was jumping out from CANDID CAMERA to film this, (now, I am really showing my age) or that Mr. Ashton Kutcher wasn't "punking" me, I firmly grasped that the cashier thought I was a senior citizen.
Sure, there could be worse things. I could list them here, but I won't. And, YES, I could have laughed it off or pretended that it didn’t bother me. But, then, that would be assuming that I had a surplus supply of self confidence and self esteem that day. Sadly, I did not.
So, in my heightened emotional state, I handed the cashier my money along with a few words of advice. I told her that she should never ask anyone their age or assume that someone is a senior even if she suspects they might be. I also insisted that most seniors would most probably ask for senior discounts if/when they want one—without being asked. I told her these things because I didn't want anyone else to experience what I just had.
When I was through with my mini-lesson, the girl giggled an “I’m sorry” and handed me my ticket. Not what I would call a happy ending:(
#2 THE JANE GOODALL EFFECT: I love Jane Goodall. I've read all about her in school, followed her career, have always admired her, and I've even had the pleasure of meeting her a few years ago.
Since I wanted to share this love of Ms. Goodall with my niece, (she wants to be ba zoologist when she grows up), I wrote the Jane Goodall Institute to get an autographed photo of Jane for her.
Upon receiving the photo, I went to the store (with the photo in hand) to find the perfect frame for it. Once I found one I especially liked, I slipped the photo into the frame (to see if it fit, etc.), and headed to the store's check out area.
As the teenage cashier (oh, oh) rang up my sale, I told her about my niece’s desire to be like Jane Goodall one day—thus the picture, my gift idea, etc., etc.
And, that’s when the second in this series of events happened to me. The cashier shrugged her shoulders and asked: "Who's Jane Goodall?"
I pointed to the picture in its new frame, and told her a few things about this brave and caring animal scientist who dedicated her life to chimps.
"Oh," she said as she handed me my purchas, "I thought that was YOU in the picture with the chimp!”
Me? Jane Goodall? YIKES! Granted, I had my hair pulled up in a ponytail like Jane did in the photo, and have light colored hair and a fair complexion like hers. But, GEEZE LOUISE, (pun not intended) she was born the same year as my mother!!! Just saying.
#3. OLDER MEN AHEAD? At a recent art exhibit, I had the privilege of meeting the exhibit’s artist, a nice older gentleman (20 years my senior). We spoke a little about our work, how we work, and what keeps us going as artists.
When I put on my coat to leave, he suggested that we might work together on a project some day. I smiled and gave him my business card. Who knows? I work with many different artists, why not him?
A few days later, the artist emailed to see if I’d like to meet for a coffee or a drink. A drink? Hmmm. I wasn't sure how to take the drink invitation. I don't usually discuss business over cocktails, or meet out older men. So, I wondered about his intentions, and waited to respond to his email. I would be gentle.
Flash forward a few weeks, the artist emailed me again. This time, he asked me if I'd like to see a show with him. (Yes, this would be #3 on my recent events if you're paying attention!)
When I emailed him back to say that I was flattered, I was more surprised than anything else. Some woman like older men. I say, "Good for them!" As for me, I am sure that I will love older men one day. That is, when I am an older woman;)
~~~
Since I have been mistaken for a 62 years or older woman and Ms. Jane Goodall (who is 70+ years old), and asked out by a man a little younger than my own father within a short plan of three months, I have to admit the cumulative effects of all of this were a bit jarring. (I'm human.)
To ease my pain and reduce the fall out, (yes, I am being a bit melodramatic) I reached out to my two sisters and a writer friend for some consolation. What I got was altogether different.
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Sister #1: “Have you been showering, doing your hair, wearing make up??”
Me: “Of course, silly. What do you think?”
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Sister #2: HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER. “I was nearly offered the senior discount at Target the other day, and I said don’t even...!"
Me: HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER. “Thanks!"
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Writer Friend: “I guess that it’s time for a makeover!”
Me: Thanks a lot.
But, maybe, my writer friend was/is RIGHT. Maybe, I do need a makeover. A thinking makeover.
I AM getting older, and I WILL start looking older, (well, I guess it's actually happening already), but if I remember Louise’s words, and live like she had, maybe, then, I might NEVER have age or time--or GET OLD. Really, who has to do that anyway???
Without giving away too many details of Louise's life, (I want you to read my book:) there was never a day that she didn’t create a piece of sculpture, a painting, or an etching. Not one. In fact, Louise actually finished a large scale, outdoor sculpture three days before she died at the age of...wait... never mind. It's not important.
After all, "If you have creative work, there is no age or time."
Thanks, Louise. I will keep that in mind.
*PSS Keep an eye out for news about my picture book biography about Louise Nevelson:) PJM
PJMJ 2010
